Absalom

His name means: “Father Is Peace”

His work: David’s third son, Absalom, was a brilliant military and political strategist.

His character: Absalom’s remarkable assets of good looks and diplomacy became great liabilities, leading to his untimely death.

His sorrow: When Absalom’s sister was raped by his oldest half brother, Absalom began a life of anger, rebellion, and revenge.

His triumph: For a time, Absalom was successful in gathering support against his father’s reign.

Key Scriptures: 2 Samuel 13-15

A Look at the Man

Absalom was a very special young man. Brimming with gifts and natural abilities, he was a natural-born leader. People were drawn toward him.

But Absalom was also a vicious conniver. Throughout his life, his bitter heart became a caldron of hatred and death.

Growing up in the palace of the king of Israel may not have been as delight as some in the kingdom may have envisioned. Absalom’s father’s sinfulness and the confusion of living in a home with David’s multiple wives and a houseful of half siblings would likely have created untold chaos. Imagine this…

Absalom had a sister, Tamar, by his mother, Maacah. His half brother and David’s oldest son, Amnon, was in love with her and tried to seduce her.

Because she resisted, he set a trap for her. Pretending to be sick, Amnon asked David to order Tamar to tend to her half brother, which he did. But when Tamar brought food to Amnon, he pled with her to sleep with him. When she resisted, he raped her.

When word came to Absalom that his sister had been violated, he hated Amnon but said nothing to him. For two years Absalom seethed, plotting his revenge against his half brother. When the trap was set, Absalom had Amnon murdered.

Absalom did not see his father for three years. And instead of seeking out Absalom and confronting him with his treachery, David “longed to go to Absalom.” What Absalom needed was a father who loved him enough to deal strictly with his violence. What Absalom got was a tentative father who was unwilling to jeopardize his son’s affection. And what David got in exchange for his fear was a son who hated him for his powerlessness-a son who secretly resolved to overthrow him.

Suffering from the guilt of his own sinfulness, David was unwilling to hand Absalom any semblance of justice. For three years Absalom plotted his father’s demise. And like an unsheltered man unwilling to acknowledge a gathering storm, David refused to see the dark clouds in his son’s eyes.

Absalom was a man overflowing with potential. If only he had channeled those talents wisely! If only his father had helped him. But because he had neither the self-control nor the parental control to reign in his resentment and acrimony, Absalom died violently.

And David was forced to spend the rest of his life dealing with the agonizing “if onlys.” If only I had not sinned with Bathsheba, bringing all of this treachery to my family. If only I had loved my children enough to discipline them.

When the Cushite reported to David that Absalom was dead, he was shaken. “O my son Absalom! My son Absalom!”

The tragic story of Absalom ends with one final “if only” from the king. “If only I had died instead of you,” David wailed uncontrollably. “O Absalom, my son, my son!”

Reflect On: 2 Samuel 15:1ÔÇô12

“Who was Absalom?”……Absalom was the third son of King David, by his wife Maacah. The bulk of Absalom's story is told in 2 Samuel 13-19. He had a strong influence on his father's reign.……The first recorded event defining Absalom's life also involved his sister Tamar and half-brother Amnon. Tamar was beautiful, and Amnon lusted after her. When Tamar rebuffed Amnon's advances, he arranged, through subterfuge, to have her come to his house, where he raped her. After the rape, Amnon put Tamar out of his house in disgrace. When Absalom heard what happened, he took his sister in to live with him. For the next two years, Absalom nursed a hatred of his half-brother. Then, using some subterfuge of his own, Absalom invited Amnon to his house for a party. During the festivities, in the presence of David's other sons, Absalom had his servants kill Amnon in cold blood.……Out of fear of his father, Absalom ran away to Geshur, where he stayed for three years. During that time, Scripture says that David "longed to go out to Absalom," but we're never told that he actually did anything to reconcile the relationship. David's general, Joab, was ultimately responsible for bringing Absalom back to Jerusalem. However, even then, Absalom was not permitted to enter David's presence, but had to live in a house of his own. He lived this way, presumably never contacting or being contacted by his father, for two years. Finally, once again by way of Joab's intercession, the two men get back together, and there is a small measure of reconciliation.……Unfortunately, this peace did not last. Possibly resenting his father's hesitancy to bring him home, Absalom began to stealthily undermine David's rule. He set himself up as judge in Jerusalem and gave out promises of what he would do if he were king. After four years of this, he asked to go to Hebron, where he had secretly arranged to have himself proclaimed king.……The conspiracy strengthened, and the number of Absalom's followers grew steadily, such that David began to fear for his own life. David gathered his servants and fled Jerusalem. However, David left behind some of his concubines and a few informers as well, including Zadok and Abiathar the priests and his advisor Hushai.……Upon entering Jerusalem as king, Absalom sought to solidify his position, first by taking over David's house and sleeping with his concubines, considered an unforgiveable act. Then he laid plans to immediately pursue and attack David's forces, but the idea was abandoned owing to the advice of Hushai. This delay allowed David to muster what troops he had at Mahanaim and mount a counterattack to retake the kingdom.……David himself did not take part in the counterattack, having been persuaded by his generals to remain behind. He did give explicit instructions to the generals to "deal gently" with Absalom, in spite of his treason. Scripture makes the point that all the troops heard David's orders concerning Absalom. However, the orders were disobeyed. As Absalom was riding under some trees, his long hair became entangled in the branches, and he was unhorsed. Joab found Absalom suspended in mid-air and killed him there. Thus, the rebellion was quelled, and David returned to Jerusalem as king.……David mourned deeply over his son, so much so that it affected the morale of the army. His grief was so great that their victory seemed hollow to them, and they returned to the capital in shame rather than triumph. It was not until he was rebuked by Joab that David was restored to a measure of kingly behavior.……Much has been said about David's neglect of Absalom in this sad incident. It is possible that parental responsibility is a lesson we can take from this episode, but Scripture does not expressly teach it here. We do know that David did nothing about Amnon's rape of Tamar, although he knew about it. If David had avenged Tamar, would Absalom have taken it upon himself to mete out justice? And what was the impact on Absalom's soul of carrying hatred for Amnon for so long? We don't know the answers to those questions, but it seems that David's inaction had a deleterious effect in Absalom's life.……What we can say with certainty, however, is that pride goes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18). Absalom's self-promotion led to nothing. Also, God is sovereign. God foiled Absalom's plan to overthrow his father's kingdom (see 2 Samuel 17:14). All events are settled in eternity, and nothing, not even the Absaloms of the world, can thwart the power of God to do as He pleases in history.