“How can I forgive those who sin against me?”……Answer: Everyone has been wronged, offended, and sinned against at some point. How are Christians to respond when such offenses occur? According to the Bible, we are to forgive. Ef. 4:32 declares, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Similarly,

Kol. 3:13 proclaims, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." The key in both Scriptures is that we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us. Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven! Those who are not Christians, however, have not been forgiven by God and have neither the power nor the desire to forgive others. ……Forgiveness would be simple if we only had to grant it to those who come asking for it in sorrow and repentance. The Bible tells us that we are to forgive, without condition, those who sin against us. Refusing to truly forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and anger, none of which are the traits of a true Christian. In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who sin against us (Mat. 6:12). Jesus said in Mat.6:14-15, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." In light of other Scriptures that speak of God's forgiveness, Mat.6:14-15 is best understood to be saying that people who refuse to forgive others have not truly experienced God's forgiveness themselves.……Whenever we disobey one of God’s commands, we sin against Him. Whenever we wrong another person, we not only sin against that person, but also against God. When we consider the extent to which God forgives all our transgressions, we realize that we do not have the right to withhold this grace from others. We have sinned against God infinitely more than any person can sin against us. If God forgives us of so much, how can we refuse to forgive others of so little? Jesus' parable in Mat.18:23-25 is a powerful illustration of this truth. God promises that when we come to Him asking for forgiveness, He freely grants it

(1Joh.1:9). The forgiveness we extend should know no limits, in the same way that God’s forgiveness is limitless (Luk. 17:3-4).

“Do we need to confess our sins to those we have sinned against?”……Answer: We know we are to confess our sins to God, but many Christians wonder whether we need to confess to those we have sinned against. Do we need to tell the person we've sinned against that we're sorry? "Walking in the light" (1Joh.1:7) means that we are living in obedience to God's commandments. In the same verse we have references to forgiveness through Christ and "fellowship one with another." So, there is a connection between having a "clean slate" and our relationship with other people.……Every sin is ultimately committed against God (Ps.51:4). The Bible consistently emphasizes our need to confess our sins to Him (Ps.41:4Ps.130:4Hand.8:22 1Joh.1:9). As for the confession of our sins to people, the Bible gives no blanket command. We are told many times to confess our sins to the Lord, but the only direct command to confess to someone else is in the context of church elders praying on behalf of the sick (Jak.5:16). ……This does not mean that we are never to seek another person's forgiveness. The Bible gives examples of confession to other people. One is Joseph's brothers asking for his forgiveness in Gen. 50:17-18. And person-to-person confession is implied in such passages as Luk.17:3-4 Ef.4:32& Kol.3:13.……The principles here seem to be 1) We should seek forgiveness from the Lord for every sin. He desires "truth in the inward parts" (Ps.51:6). 2) If our relationship with the Lord is right, our relationships with other people will fall in line. We will treat others graciously, with justice and honesty (Psalm 15). To sin against someone and not attempt to make it right would be unthinkable. 3) The extent of the apology for a sin should match the extent of the impact of the sin. Or we should seek forgiveness from whoever was directly involved in order to ensure healing.……For example, if a man looks with lust at a woman, he should immediately confess the sin to the Lord. It would not be needed or appropriate to confess that sin to the woman. That sin is between the man and the Lord. However, if a man breaks a promise, or does something that directly impacts the woman, he must confess to her and seek her forgiveness. If a sin involves a large number of people, such as a church, a man or woman must then extend the confession to the members of the church. So the confession and apology should match the impact. Those impacted by the sin should hear the confession.……While our forgiveness with God is not dependent on our confessing our sins to others and/or their forgiving us, God does call us to be honest and forthcoming with others regarding our failings, especially when it involves them. When we have offended, hurt, or sinned against others, we should seek to offer a sincere apology and confession and ask for forgiveness. Whether the forgiveness is granted is up to those who were confessed to. Our responsibility is to genuinely repent, confess the sin, and ask for forgiveness.

…“Since God does not forgive until a person confesses/repents, does that mean we can withhold forgiveness from those who sin against us until they confess/repent?”……Answer: The Bible speaks of two kinds of forgiveness-human forgiveness, that of people extending forgiveness towards others, and divine forgiveness, God's forgiving human beings. Is there a difference? God's forgiveness is conditional upon repentance, but as we'll see, our forgiveness is neither conditional on being asked for it, nor on seeing fruits of repentance. ……The Bible teaches us that God withholds forgiveness towards people who are not repentant (2Kon.24:4 & Klaagl. 3:42.). God is able to do this because of His very nature: He is sinless. He is perfect. He is holy. He simply will not tolerate sin. Paul warns those who choose to transgress God's law in Rom.2:5, "But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed." But there are also times in the Old Testament when God forgave those who did not seek His mercy and forgiveness. He did so for His own purposes and in accordance with His perfect will.……As Christians we are certainly obligated to forgive others who sin against us when they are repentant if we are to expect God to forgive us when we sin against Him (Mat.6:14-15, Mat.18:23-25, Mark.11:25, Luk.17:3-4, Ef.4:31-32, Kol.3:13.). This holds true even if someone sins against us repeatedly (Mat. 18:21-22) However, this does not give us license to withhold forgiveness in the same way. The key to remember is this: God can judge a person's intentions because He knows what's in a person's heart(1 Sam.16:7 ; Heb.4:12-13) whereas we don't. We are not God. We are not the Judge. For us to play God by refusing to offer forgiveness is an act of judgment on our part, and Jesus tells us that God will judge us according to the way we've judged others (Mat. 7:2; 1Joh.1:19 and Luk.17:3-4)……When Peter asked Jesus how many times we should forgive someone, Jesus answered that we must forgive as many times as necessary. Then He illustrated forgiveness with a parable about a man who, although forgiven by his master of an overwhelming debt, refused to forgive another for a meager debt. When this man's master heard about his ingratitude and injustice, he was outraged and had him thrown to the tormentors. "This is how My heavenly Father will treat each one of you, unless you forgive your brother from your heart" (Mat. 18:35).……Surely, by receiving such a massive pardon, we should not be so mean-spirited as to withhold forgiveness from others. Rather, we should emulate the example of our Savior. In truth, offering forgiveness is an act of will, and failure to acknowledge this will only encourage us to justify our own disobedience. Forgiveness is not a fruit that needs time to grow in our lives. It is not a result of some special encounter with God. Jesus makes that clear in (Luk.17:4) when He commands that if someone sins against another seven times in one day and repents as many times, that person should be forgiven. Forgiving someone for the same offense several times in one year would be a major test of sanctification, so seven times in one day drives Jesus' point home. The disciples were so staggered by this that they immediately requested an increase in their faith (Luk.17:5). Jesus then told them what such a tiny amount of faith can achieve by explaining that a servant does not receive praise for carrying out orders-for simply doing his duty. He's telling us that we do not need great faith to forgive, but only to choose to carry out the Master's instruction.……Remember, it was Jesus who cried out from the cross, "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" (Luk.23:34). Stephen asked that those who were stoning him be forgiven (Hand.7:60). In both cases, forgiveness was unconditional. Those around the cross were not asking for forgiveness, and neither were those stoning Stephen. And, obviously, someone who sins against us seven times in one day is not demonstrating fruits of repentance. By emulating Jesus and Stephen, the action of extending forgiveness releases us and allows us to receive forgiveness. To wait until we are asked may mean we never get an opportunity to forgive and would also prevent us from being forgiven. In all this we must realize that God never asks us to do the impossible. Were it beyond our ability to forgive from the heart, Jesus would never have directed us to do it.……But what if there is no indication of repentance? The law given to ancient Israel is akin to the New Testament teaching: "Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord" (Lev. 19:17-18). An unforgiving spirit leads to bitterness, anger, and seething resentment against another. Such a heart attitude cannot have true fellowship with God. Not holding grudges allows a state of mind that is ready and willing to forgive. Reconciliation is the goal, and if there cannot be reconciliation, an attitude of willingness to forgive must be maintained. There can be no excuse for withholding a forgiving spirit towards others (Mat.5:22-24).……As stated at the beginning, human forgiveness and God's forgiveness have differences. The Lord's Prayer teaches that we are to ask for God's forgiveness regularly, just as we are regularly to forgive others who have sinned against us. But human nature wars against this. As Paul said, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me" (Rom.7:21). Like Paul, we must know that of our own strength, we are powerless to do the right thing. But as Christians who possess the Holy Spirit, when we rely on His power, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Fill. 4:13).

“What did Jesus mean when He said that we should forgive others seventy times seven?”……Answer: Jesus said we are to forgive others "seventy times seven" in response to Peter's question, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Mat. 18:21-22). To fully understand what Jesus was saying, we must look at the context of the whole chapter, for Jesus was speaking not only about forgiving one another, but about Christian character, both in and out of the church. The admonition to forgive our brother seventy times seven follows Jesus discourse on discipline in the church

(Mat. 18:15-20), in which He lays down the rules for restoring a sinning brother.……Peter, wishing to appear especially forgiving and benevolent, asked Jesus if forgiveness was to be offered seven times. The Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary, citing Amos 1:3-13 where God forgave Israel's enemies three times, then punished them. By offering forgiveness more than double that of the Old Testament example, Peter perhaps expected extra commendation from the Lord. When Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, far beyond that which Peter was proposing, it must have stunned the disciples who were listening. Although they had been with Jesus for some time, they were still thinking in the limited terms of the law, rather than in the unlimited terms of grace.……By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times, a number that is, for all practical purposes, beyond counting. Christians with forgiving hearts not only do not limit the number of times they forgive; they continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as they do the first time. Christians are only capable of this type of forgiving spirit because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who provides the ability to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over.……Jesus' parable of the unforgiving servant (see below) follows directly after His "seventy times seven" speech, driving home the point that if we are forgiven the enormous debt of sin against a holy God, how much more should we be eager to forgive those who sin against us, who are just as sinful as they? Paul parallels this example in Ef.4:32 where he admonishes us to forgive one another "even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you." Clearly, forgiveness is not to be meted out in a limited fashion, but is to be abundant, overflowing, and available to all, just as the measureless grace of God is poured out upon us.

“What is the meaning of the Parable of the Unforgiving / Unmerciful Servant?”……Answer: We find the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant only in Mat.18:23-35. The Apostle Peter had asked how many times one should forgive, “Till seven times?” and Jesus answered, “Not seven times but seventy times seven” (Mat 18:21-22). The context of this passage is Jesus teaching His disciples about the “kingdom of heaven.” We can take some very important principles from this parable and apply them to our lives today.……The servant whose lord forgave him much, ten thousand talents, equivalent to several millions of dollars, was unwilling to forgive another servant who owed him a hundred denarii. A denarius was a day’s wage and was worth approximately sixteen cents. Therefore, compared to what the first servant was forgiven, this was a very small amount. The principle here is, “the one forgiven much should forgive much.” In other words, the principle of forgiveness is that grace or forgiveness to another is without limit. The disciples are not to count the number of times they forgive. Rather, as the parable teaches, they are to forgive much because God has forgiven much.……In the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, Jesus is presenting a new principle that is similar to the basis of the forgiveness command for believers found in

Ef. 4:32, “And be ye kind to one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Jesus is teaching His disciples pre-cross, and therefore in the pre-church age, but the basis for forgiveness is the same. Because God has forgiven us, we are to forgive each other. Therefore, because we have received much grace, “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” (Rom.5:8), we are commanded to give that same grace to others. In the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, the first servant’s debt was forgiven, and he was not required to repay until his unforgiving nature was discovered. In contrast, our sin debt was paid in full by Christ and is the only basis for God’s forgiveness. We cannot repay our debt to God or earn our salvation. It is a gift of grace (Ef.2:8-9).……Therefore, in the Parable of the Unforgiving / Unmerciful / Unjust Servant, Jesus is teaching His disciples, and us by extension, that forgiveness should be in like proportion to the amount forgiven. The first servant had been forgiven all, and he then should have forgiven all. In like manner, a child of God by faith through Christ has had all sins forgiven. Therefore, when someone offends or sins against us we should be willing to forgive him from a heart of gratitude for the grace to which we ourselves are debtors.